My letter to those who suffer from sleeplessness

Dear fellow sleeper, 

As an insomnia sufferer, I know you will be somewhat bothered by being addressed as a sleeper. In doing so, I risk making you think that I have zero understanding of the hell you’re going through. Let’s just say that I’m confident enough to know that you will sleep well again in the not so distant future, so I have no issue being brash and putting myself one step ahead. 

Without wanting to annoy you further, I’d like to share that I sleep very well now, but that wasn’t always the case. For 15 years I was on a seemingly impossible quest: how to overcome chronic insomnia. Sleeplessness affected every aspect of my life. I was physically and mentally exhausted, constantly. As a result, I was unable to concentrate and was habitually anxious and on edge. As my insomnia became increasingly worse, I lost complete confidence in myself and my ability to sleep. I managed to muster through school and hold down jobs but otherwise couldn’t lead a normal life or work well. My appearance deteriorated and I felt ugly inside and out. Although I would keep going and smile, my entire existence revolved around whether I could manage to sleep…or not. My friends and family could, so why couldn’t I? They couldn’t comprehend it or empathise.  It was a lonely place to be. 

I consulted some of the world’s most reputed sleep doctors, each time with high hopes that one would finally have “the cure”. I spent nights in sleep clinics in the places I lived – Paris, Brussels, Osaka. I had polysomnographies, brain scans, dozens of psychological tests, only to be told that my sleep structure was normal and be prescribed every medication under the sun: Alprazolam (Xanax), Zolpidem (Ambien), antihistamines, antidepressants (for their secondary hypnotic effects), and more. At one point I was misdiagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and told to take the amphetamine-based medication that goes with it. I knew the doctor was mistaken. As a kid, I had slept well and functioned normally.  “How on earth can anyone be attentive when sleep deprived?”, I puzzled. The doctor insisted he knew best. I fainted several times in the following days and two months later, having lost 8kg, I stopped the harsh medication. 

I consulted around 30 health professionals, most well-intentioned, but not a single one understood my insomnia, the impact it had on my daily experience or the psychology behind it. More importantly, they had no idea how to help. The only solution doctors were generally trained to offer was medication, intended for short-term usage. Many of us end up taking it for decades, descending a downward spiral of addiction that exacerbates sleeplessness. This leads us down a slippery slope into other addictions such as nicotine, caffeine, energy drinks and much worse, as we think they can potentially offset the terrible exhaustion. However, these substances further hamper our sleep, and we know it. Prescribing medication to a primary insomniac who doesn’t have a physical or comorbid condition, which was my case, simply confirmed to me that yes, there was something wrong with me… but we don’t know how to deal with it. There was no solution. It was highly worrying and stressful.

General practitioners have the time to explain how sleep works and provide us with the guidance and coaching we need. In most medical school programmes (lasting generally 7-9 years), doctors receive only a few hours of training on sleep. This tends to focus on physical issues such as sleep apnea. Not once did any practitioner explain to me the central role that light plays in the sleep-wake cycle, the importance of circadian health or how to counterbalance the stress-response in the nervous system. Believe me, basic knowledge of these three factors is simple to acquire and is fundamental in resolving insomnia. As kids at school, we learn about the importance of nutrition, of physical education but of sleep, arguably THE fundamental pillar of health, we learn nothing. Sleep supposedly just happens… until it doesn’t. 

So this has become my mission: to educate about sleep, and guide those struggling with insomnia so that they can be accompanied and supported, to avoid a hellish maze. Fortunately, the treatment of insomnia has evolved and some new structured therapies work well for many, such as CBT-I (success rate 70-80%). My work is based on integrating techniques from this and other approaches, enriched by my personal experience and knowledge from helping others overcome insomnia. Unfortunately not all doctors aren’t aware that CBT-I exists and availability is limited to a lucky few. Ask your general practitioner if there’s anything on offer in your area. They may suspect you have secondary insomnia, meaning insomnia associated with a physical condition such as sleep apnea or restless legs syndrome, and refer you to  a sleep medicine specialist for a sleep study. 

My belief is that we each have unique characteristics relating to sleep, resulting from genetics as well as our social environment and cultural backgrounds. Although everyone is different, the fundamentals of sleep science and the physiological processes are the same. The good news is that we are all designed to sleep. Once we understand that, it’s just a matter of finding what’s missing in our jigsaw puzzle, piece by piece, to re-train ourselves to get our sleep back on track.

As I write this, I know that I will sleep well tonight and tomorrow too, probably even if I’m sleeping on a friend’s sofa. I have slept well for over 5 years now. Imagine that? I couldn’t have envisaged this back then. This is why I decided to dedicate my life to improving sleep education, especially for those suffering from insomnia. For this reason I became a certified sleep therapist and educator at the Institut Somna, a world first in holistic sleep therapy, based in Quebec, Canada. 

Each of us is unique, one solution doesn’t fit all, so personalised guidance is sometimes necessary. I look forward to helping you design your sleep so you finally feel well-rested and get your life back, too. 

If you think it’s useful to share this letter with your friends & family, please do so. They can gain insight into what you are enduring and learn how to lend a hand.

Your fellow sleeper,

Donna